


Angel Of Humanity

by Dat_Crankler_Doe



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Dean Winchester, Love, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-07-12 10:42:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19944844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dat_Crankler_Doe/pseuds/Dat_Crankler_Doe
Summary: Dean has never been called "Angel" once in his life except by his own mother. He didn't have a problem with that at all, if it was in the metaphorical sense, but he had an issue when it was said literally.





	1. One

Dean had been in a coma for almost a week now. He was alive, and Castiel could tell his soul was still intact, but he wouldn't wake up. They'd tried almost everything. They'd even taken him to a hospital, but as soon as they said they didn't know why he was asleep, Cas teleported him out.

They were at the point that Sam was willing to try anything to get his brother back.

"Cas, is there anything you can do?"

Cas shook his head, "Nothing that wouldn't... Change him forever."

Sam raised his head, "Like what?"

Castiel shook his head and looked at Sam, "As an angel, I have the ability to... No, I have the option to give Dean most of my grace, for a chance of his body accepting it."

"And, that'll cure him?"

Castiel nodded, "Yes, but, not without consequence. In turn for this grace, Dean will turn into an angel."

Sam swallowed, and spoke slowly, "Will that... Will he change?"

Castiel inhaled, "Perhaps. He will still be Dean, his soul will just be converted to Grace, but he will still be Dean. However, there will be that time in which he will be... He will struggle with angel function rather than human function. It will be likely that you will not be able to see him for weeks due to him being unable to hold a human form. Though, trust me, with time he will be able to hold it for weeks. That is, if you decide to agree. None of this has to happen."

Sam shook his head, "What choice do we have?"

Castiel looked at Sam, surprised at the man's words, "Sam, there's always a choice."

Sam looked away, and Castiel could tell he was close to giving up. By now, he'd lost hope that his brother would ever wake up. Sam's eyes were red, and he had dark purple bags under them from lack of sleep. Sam almost looked as bad as Dean, however, Dean had lost much weight, and hadn't eaten in a while. He was skinny and pale. He was unable to be cared for properly, and he was on his last few days. Sam knew this, Cas knew this, and they refused to speak of it. Sam's brother was dying, and it took everything in him to stay calm.

"Do it Cas. If there's even a chance that it'll work, please, do it. I can't... I can't lose my brother all over again."


	2. Two

Sam looked down and then at Cas. They were standing in front of Dean.

Dean lay in his bed. Though, he didn't look like Dean anymore. He looked like the husk of what used to be Dean. His body was pale, and he had lost a lot of weight. It was scary to look at, and Sam had to keep his head turned.

"What if it doesn't work?"

Castiel held still and looked down at Dean, sadness holding down his chest, "It will not make a difference. He will die if it doesn't work, and he will die if we don't try."

There was a few moments of silence. Sam inhaled a shaky breath, and he looked at Dean. He tore his eyes away quicky, "Then, do it."

Castiel finally looked up from Dean's lifeless body. He took a breath and close his eyes, "You must leave."

Sam nodded, without questioning Cas. He knew that if he ever wanted to see his brother again, he would have to listen to the Angel. 

Sam took one last look at his brother, then nodded to Cas before shutting the door as he left.

Castiel was left with the sound of Dean's breathing, and the air conditioning. There was a small clock across the room, that seemed to tick a million times louder now that he was alone. Dean's breaths came and went quickly. Castiel knew his heart was in bad shape now. Losing its muscle and strength as every minute went by.

Castiel closed his eyes. When he opened them, a brown figure stood on the opposite side of the bed. Castiel looked up to see Dean. He was in the usually button up flannel and leather jacket. The only part of him that wasn't brown was his eyes, which glowed their beautiful green. Dean was a misty figure. He was blurry to the human eye, like a smoky humanoid figure.

Castiel saw Dean inhale quickly as he saw his own body on the bed, he then looked to Cas, "Am I going to die, Cas?"

This was Dean's soul. The very essence of his being was looking down at the body he should be inhibiting.

Unlike Dean himself, Dean's soul was very honest, and Castiel knew this.

"I don't want to die, Cas."

"I know, Dean... That's why I'm here. Dean, I'm here to offer you a chance at life."

Dean was hesitant, his green eyes shone of worry, "What is it?"

"You don't have to agree... I am offering you the option of... Being an angel. I am willing to give up almost all of my grace in order to change you into one. However, if not, and you decide against it, then I will guide your soul to heaven, myself."

Dean didn't answer. His eyes worried, in fact, Castiel could feel it rolling off of the Man's soul in waves.

"Will it hurt?"

Castiel shook his head, "No. But it will require that you, being... Being a soul, you will have to accept being turned into grace. This will not hurt, and will not be scary. You will still be yourself. You will still be Dean, and have emotions, but you will have to adapt to being... More than a soul."

When Dean didn't answer, Castiel nodded, "No one will be mad if you decline, Dean. It is ultimately your choice."

Dean closed his eyes, he spoke quietly, "I... I'm scared, Cas."

Castiel smiled sadly, "I know."

Castiel now looked down at his blue form, he presented much like Dean, except he was completely blue, eyes and all.

Castiel offered a hand for support, "Do you trust me, Dean?"

Dean only hesitated for a moment and took Cas's hand, "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

Grace flowed through Cas's hand, and towards Dean's, soul. Dean flinched slightly as he felt it touch his soul, but allowed Cas to continue.

The grace turned green as it went from Cas to Dean. Cas smiled weakly as small green tendrils began to circle Dean. He then pulled back his hand, and Dean's soul took a step towards Cas.

Cas could feel that Dean missed the comfort. Castiel approached Dean, and gently took both of his hands. Dean smiled and looked Cas in the eyes.

"He won't tell you. He can't. Cas, I love you."

Castiel nodded, "I know, Dean. Let us discuss it later, once you are an angel."

Dean shook his head, "No, I... I'm scared. I'm scared of losing my humanity before I can tell you."

Castiel tightly held Dean's hand, "I love you too, Dean."

Dean smiled, "You make me feel whole, Castiel. You make me feel happy, like no one can. And I need you to know before... Before I'm an angel. Because then I... I don't know if I'll feel the same or if... If it'll be different."

Castiel leaned forward and gently placed a kiss to Dean's cheek, "You will feel the same. You will be the same. And you will love me all the same. I will love you all the same."

Dean closed his eyes, "I trust you Castiel."

"Then sleep."

Without another word, Dean's soul re-entered his body and Castiel gasped as he felt his vessel ground him to the earth. He looked back at the bed to see Dean just as he was minutes before. Pale, skinny, and tired. He looked no different. Cas did not find this surprising, he knew it would take time for Dean to fully turn into an angel. So, he called Sam into the room

Sam gently closed the door behind him and looked at Dean, still in the bed, "Did... Did it work?"

Castiel inhaled, "So far, yes. Now we wait. There is nothing left to do."

Sam nodded, "Should we... Leave him?"

Castiel inhaled, "I feel that is best, yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is still a slow burn, even though he confessed his love. It will make more sense in the next chapter.


	3. Three

Midnight in the bunker is quiet. More quiet than usual. Sam is asleep, finally able to close his eyes for one reason. Hope. Hope calmed his soul, and after many days of little rest, he has all but passed out, his worried only tiring him more. The only noise heard from his room is his long breaths.

Castiel is the only one that has refused to fall victim to the sleep that called his name. Castiel was weak, having given Dean most of his grace. His body had started giving him human requests. He needed to sleep to recover his grace, and he was aware, but he lie awake in a room, waiting for Dean. However, his mind betrayed him and played a soft tune, it was a hum of sweet honey suckles. And this was enough to pull the exhausted angel into a deep sleep just minutes before midnight.

Dean's body begins to turn a healthy shade of color ever so slowly. Soon he is right back to his natural color, and his body begins to repair his muscles and restore strength to them. Soon his body is as it was weeks ago.

Dean inhaled the largest breath he'd had in a week and he shot up in bed as the clock read midnight. His eyes shone a bright green for a few seconds, while his chest heaved in rapid breaths. Finally, he was able to get his breathing into order. The glow stopped, and Dean hadn't even noticed it. He grasped his chest and glanced around the room. He felt... tired. He was tired still. He sighed and got out of his bed. He ran a hand through his hair and realized how greasy it was. He wondered why because he remembered showering the day before. 

He was too restless to sleep, so he decided he would shower and stop to grab some pie. He knew he would fail at sleeping, so after that, he'd review the case they'd been working for a few days. There was some kind of Vampire messing people up, but that was all they really knew.

Dean quietly opened his dresser and grabbed something comfortable to wear. He wanted to avoid waking Sam. He'd done this enough times to know that the guy was a bit of a light sleeper.

He didn't normally wear his band t shirts, because he didn't want them ruined, but he wanted to wear something comfortable. He was tired and he was just grabbing some pie.

Dean had shaved and cleaned himself up. He felt a little more... dirty than a day's worth of grime, but that was the life of a hunter. He was fully washed and he was ready to walk out the door. He tied his shoe and grabbed his keys from the wall where they hung. By then, it was almost one in the morning, he'd be back before three, though.

The drive was actually fairly uneventful and he sighed as he was finally able to make it to the store. 

He'd ended up deciding on apple, a classic. It was one of his favorites, but all pie was great, so it was hard to decide.

The drive home was just as uneventful as the drive there, however, Dean liked the open road. It gave him a sense of control. A lot of things in his life he didn't have control over, but driving, that was one thing he could control well. He sighed, the road was clear, and it was open sky. The stars were bright that night, and everything seemed more... Detailed. The moon was bright, and he turned up the radio. This was Dean's happy place.

Dean ended up pulling over near a lake, and lying on Baby's hood, playing a song from the radio, and staring up at the stars. Sometimes he needed that kind of a break, and he wouldn't pass on up for the world.

He sat there for longer than he could keep track of, and noticed the sky glowing a light orange at the horizon. He pulled out his phone and checked the time. He cursed himself silently as he realized Sam would be awake in around an hour. He hadn't spent any of his time working through a case. He got into his car and made his way back to the bunker.

He closed the bunker door and jogged lightly down the stairs. He was there in time to make some breakfast. He'd expected Sam to be up, but the place was silent. Not even a TV was on. Dean didn't like the silence and wondered where Cas was. It wasn't like him to be this quiet. The man was almost always awake and about.

Dean shrugged it off and decided that he would make some breakfast. Today was a lazy day he assumed. No one else was up and it was well past six. On any other day, Sam would be eager to get on the case. Dean decided to shrug it off and opened the fridge, looking for something to cook.

He started cooking and remembered he had a pie sitting on the counter. He decided to eat it while he wasn't stirring food. He was just making eggs and bacon. It wasn't something super time consuming.

He was taking a bite of apple pie when he heard footsteps from the hallway. He pulled the fork from his mouth and layed it in the plastic tin that came with the pie.

He glanced towards the hallways and spoke, "You finally up, sleepyhead? I made some breakfast!"

He turned back around and flipped his bacon.

The yell was enough to scare Castiel out of his sleep. He heard Dean. He jumped from his bed and opened his door. He saw Sam standing in the hallway opening, staring out into the kitchen. Shock rolled off of him in waves, and Castiel could feel it. Castiel approached behind Sam and looked into the kitchen.

"Dean?" Sam's voice shook and tears welled at his eyes.

Dean, having finished his final bite of pie, moved the fork away from his mouth and glanced at the hallway, "Yeah? Look, you guys are creeping me out. Did I forget to fix my hair this morning or something?," He ran a hand through his hair anxiously, as if embarrassed he could've forgotten such a simple thing.

When neither Cas or Sam moved he began to get more confused, "Seriously, guys, what's wrong?"

It was Sam who first moved. He approached Dean and pulled him into a hug. Dean wrapped his arms around the younger and sensed the unsettling relief that Sam was showing. Dean rubbed Sam's back and glanced at Cas for some sort of an explanation, but Cas could offer no such thing. In fact, Cas was likely more confused than Sam.

Sam finally pulled away and looked at Dean, a tear running down his cheek. He wiped it away quicky and turned his head, "I... I thought we'd lost you."

Dean gave Sam a confused look and then really looked at his brother. The man was thinner than usual. His shirt looked almost... A size too big for the man. Dean, being the mother he was, shook his head, "What have you starved yourself over me, man? I know we had a close call a few days ago, but that's nothing to kill yourself over. Here, I made breakfast and everything. Get some calories in there."

Dean finally glanced back to Cas with a confused look, "Cas, no offense, but why the boxers and T-Shirt. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I'm just wondering."

Sam looked at Cas for help, and Cas finally approached Dean. He looked Dean in the eyes and Dean shifted under his gaze.

"Cas you're freaking me out here, man."

Then Dean did something that Castiel didn't understand. He filled up a mug with Coffee, and took a large sip. He looked at Sam and grinned, "Damn, that's good. Where'd we get that again, Sam?"

Castiel continued his stare and Dean suddenly felt uncomfortable in his own skin, like Cas was picking out his flaws. Sam's face still had a look of disbelief, and it was honestly scaring him, "Sam? Cas? What's going on? Why the looks? Like, is there something in my teeth? Did I forget the mouthwash? What's wrong?"

Cas finally spoke up, "Dean, what do you think happened yesterday?"

Dean shrugged, "Uh... We wrapped up that Witch case, with the fire and stuff. And then Sam found us a Vampire case. Cas, you said you were going to go scope the town, and then today we'd all go check it out. But, looks like I'm the only one who got ready. Really, come on. Sam, I understand, but Cas, I really expected more."

Dean chuckled and then looked at them when no one reacted. He stood in silence for a few seconds and rubbed his head, "Okay, seriously, what's wrong?"

"Dean, that wasn't yesterday," Sam spoke quietly.

Cas spoke up, "Dean, you've been in a comatose state for around a week now."

Dean smiled, as if Cas said a joke, but his smiled dropped when their faces didn't change. He exhaled and leaned against the counter, "You're... Okay, you're not joking?"

Sam nodded and Cas stared at Dean, still unsettling the man.

"How am I awake then? Is that why you're so surprised? What woke me up? You wouldn't look like that if you knew."

Castiel shook his head, "No, your brother is just in a state of disbelief. He will come out of it soon. I'm confused for other reasons."

Dean immediately relaxed when Cas spoke, drank a bit of his coffee, "Okay, get on with it, Cas."

"You don't remember? Nevermind. It was a stupid question. I was speaking to your soul, not you," Cas drifted off, and Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Wait, you spoke to my soul?"

"That's not the point. I did a... Ritual of some sort. You were going to die yesterday if I hadn't. So, I gave you much of my grace, in order for your soul to turn into grace, making you an angel. Thus, you wouldn't be ill, however, I see no grace. You are... Ever human."

Dean looked at Cas for a minute, trying to process, and then spoke, "You... You tried to turn me into an angel?"

Cas nodded, "Do not worry. I didn't do this without your permission first. Your soul agreed. It was that or heaven. And you wanted to live, but you're missing my point, Dean it didn't work. So how are you awake and better?"

Dean tried to be angry at Cas, he really did, but he couldn't. He just sighed, "I don't know, okay?"

"Do you not feel any different?" It was Sam that spoke this time.

Dean shook his head, "No. I'm just Dean. Nothing more, nothing less."

Castiel wondered if maybe that is what it was supposed to be. He decided not to worry about it, and reached out to hug Dean.

Dean hugged back, and looked at Cas with worried eyes, "I guess I missed you guys too... That didn't feel like a week for me. I remember falling asleep, and waking up at like... Midnight. I couldn't sleep, grabbed some pie, came back, hung out, and then made some breakfast. That's it."

Cas nodded and Sam closed his eyes. It was Sam who spoke, "You were... You scared the hell out of me, Dean."

Dean looked at his brother, "I... I'm sorry, Sam."

Sam shook his head "No, you don't have to apologize. I'm just glad you're back."

Dean laughed, "Yeah. Me too. Now please, lets just eat or something. Let's get a case so I can have something to do."

Sam smiled, "Yeah. Yeah, let's eat."

Cas nodded, "I hate being so weak, but I'm also incredibly hungry"

Dean spoke with satisfaction, "Good thing I made extra."


	4. Four

It was a couple days later when Dean started to run into... Issues.

Issue number one, he could feel emotions. And they weren't his own. If Sam was upset, he could feel it coming from him. It wasn't a context clues thing anymore. He could see it, hear it, taste it, and feel it. Anger smelled like burned wood. It look like red waves, it sounded like nails on a chalkboard, and it tasted like fireball candies. It was a sensory overload any time someone felt something. Though, this had been happened for days now. He'd been able to nullify the whole process. It's much less... Overwhelming to him now.

Happiness was a whole different thing. Anger is a harder emotion to deal with because it associates to bad things.

Happy was yellow. It smelled like cookies, it tasted like apple pie, it sounded like the tune to Dean's favorite song, it looked like a small tide against the cool sand of a beach. This was easier to deal with. It was hard to explain how his brain dealt with these senses. But he was able to make them more dull, more adjustable to the human mind by some crazy power. He mainly only saw them now. He saw yellow waves gently float around someone and know they were happy. Occasionally if he wasn't looking, he'd taste it before he saw it. He'd taste apple pie and grin. If he didn't taste it, he'd hear a tune in his ear play very lightly. If he smelled it, he often wondered if someone was happy, or if he'd just passed a bakery.

If there were many people, his brain would cancel everything out except for sight. Occasionally taste would still happen.

It was a strange sensation, and he'd been meaning to speak to Cas about it, but something was holding him back, and he didn't know what it was. It felt irrational, but he didn't think he needed to talk to Cas unless he was sure the whole angel thing was working. In the end, if it did, Cas would notice. Cas was an angel after all. He'd be able to see if Dean was one as well.

Dean's next problem was auras. It was a little different from emotions. An aura was like the representation of someone's personality. It showed the emotion they felt the most. Often times he was able to separate emotions and auras, but the first time he saw Sam's aura and emotions at the same time, he had to close his eyes in order to get the emotions first. It was overwhelming.

If he wanted to see auras, he simply looked for them. It was like looking through layers. The first layer was their appearance, then emotions, then auras.

Often he didn't have the energy to look through anything past a person's appearance. It took him a while to figure out how to just see people, but he'd learned. Most days, he tuned everything out except appearance, but during hunts, it gave him a one up.

Though, he didn't dare use any of it in Cas's presence. He was afraid he would make himself obvious if Cas's was close to him while he used these things.

He often wondered if Cas saw emotions like this, and if he still saw Dean's. He hoped Cas could, it would be suspicious if he couldn't, but Dean didn't have a play in what Cas could see.

Of course, Dean's last issue was sudden and unexpected. He was in his room, trying to decide which tape to listen to. He'd just gotten out of the shower, and his shirt was still in his hands. He then went to pick up a tape, and accidentally scratched his hand while grabbing it. He hissed and shook his hand, and a sound of moving air distracted him from the scratch. He felt a weight on his back, and he could see two brown wings out of the corner of his eyes. He froze. He could barely breathe. They were huge. He couldn't believe they were connected to his body, but he felt them where they connected to his back.

He also felt them curl around him as he begun to get more nervous. He wasn't doing it on purpose, it was just happening. Next he tried to move them on command. He ruffled them gently, and every paper in his room moved from their place and most into the floor.

He sighed, and went to pick some up, but realized the wings were too large for him to be turning around. He sighed and closed his eyes. He tried to focus and get them to leave, but he had little success.

He finally got fed up and just firmly folded them back, and suddenly the weight was gone.

Dean put a hand on his back and was completely baffled when nothing was there.

He wasn't sure how to get them to come back. He moved his shoulders back and he was able to get them to appear again. He then folded them back again, and they left.

This was the most overwhelming issue of the three, and it managed to send him into panic. He was scared, no terrified. He didn't feel any different. He wasn't suddenly emotionless. He was just, Dean. But, he knew he had wings, and he knew he could _taste_ other people's emotions and it scared him. Dean had never been more scared in his life than that moment, because the wings proved it. The wings made everything real. The wings proved it completely, and were the breaking point for Dean.

Dean Winchester was an angel and there was nothing he could do about it.

He sat again the wall in his room and he stared into space. He swallowed and closed his eyes. A tear rolled down his cheek. His eyes were red when he opened them again. And his breath shook and he exhaled. He spoke very quietly, "I am an angel."

The tears rushed back and he closed his hand into a fist. His knuckles turned white and he wanted to hit the ground in frustration, "I am an angel."

He rubbed his eyes and shook his head. He was pathetic. He pulled himself up and walked to the mirror in his room. He inhaled quickly and rolled his shoulders. Two huge wings spread and almost managed to knock over his alarm clock. He gingerly lifted it to avoid any more of this things.

He looked into the mirror, taking in details. They were almost brown like his hair, but lighter. Then as you looked towards the bottom feathers, the color was a gradient and turned into black. He swallowed and folded them back. To Dean, as a human, all he would notice would be the sound, but now he saw how they disappeared. It wasn't slow, it was very quick, but it was as through a light shone on one part of the wings at a time. And they disappeared quickly.

He closed his eyes and exhaled. The whole angel thing was too much to take in. He didn't want to deal with it, in fact, he didn't even want to acknowledge it, but he knew he had to learn to live with it. He knew it was something he couldn't control. That was the fact that bothered him the most. He couldn't control any of what was happening, and it made him feel hopeless. He hated feeling out of control. He hated that he couldn't control his situation. He knew that his soul made the decision, but he couldn't even remember it. He didn't remember ever agreeing to it, and it frustrated him. He knew that he would take this over dying, but it freaked him out. This was territory unknown to him. He'd been a demon, he knew what that was like, but an angel? He was terrified. And he wanted to tell Cas. He was scared, and he needed the guidance. He nodded to himself and sighed. He would tell Cas as soon and he built up the nerve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm taking a break from updating for the weekend to catch up on writing more chapters! Check back on Monday!


	5. Five

Dean planned to talk to Cas after this hunt. It was a cut and dry vampire hunt. It wasn't anything more difficult than usual.  
  
Though, they were quickly overwhelmed when three or four Vampires turned into nearly a dozen. Dean trusted that Sam could protect himself, but not Cas, so they were all now surrounded by a dozen Vampires.  
  
"Is there anything you can do, Cas?" Sam spoke quickly, his blade tightly in his hand.  
  
"I'm not strong enough to destroy them, Sam."  
  
Dean swallowed as all twelve began to circle around them and get closer. Cas was clearly nervous as Dean could smell it, peppermint. He could also hear Sam's uncertainty, it was the sound of a metronome.  
  
He closed his eyes and held his arm out, willing for something to happen. He hadn't practiced anything of this measure before, and he prayed something worked.  
  
Surprise came from Sam as the Vampires on his side were thrown over his head by a mysterious force. He swung around to see Dean with his arm out.  
  
Dean opened his eyes and they glowed a bright green. He squeezed his fingers and suddenly his wings were out, glowing with power as every Vampire was reverted to dust, one after the other.  
  
His wings blocked both Cas and Sam, as if protecting them.  
  
Finally as the last Vampire was reverted to dust, there was silence in the room. Just for a few moments.  
  
Dean looked back and noticed his wings were out. He swallowed and they disappeared as if they were never there. Though, his shirt and flannel had two burn marks in the back.  
  
Dean could feel the emotions in the room. The strongest being shock. Dean slowly turned around and looked at Sam and Cas. He spoke before doing anything else, "Are you two, okay?"

Sam was the first to show a response, and nodded. Cas continued to stare, and Dean wondered what was going through the man's head. Dean decided to close off his senses in case he invaded someone's privacy. That wasn't what he needed then. 

He turned around and eyed the entrance, then spoke, "I'm going to the car."

He quickly left Cas and Sam in the large barn alone. He threw his machete in the trunk, and pulled open the car door to sit down. He felt his back touch the cold seat and jumped. He felt the back of his shirt and noticed the two holes. He cursed and sighed. Dean didn't like shopping. 

Sam opened the door and sat next to him, but even without directly sensing the emotions, the air had an unsettling feeling. A heavy awkward fog hung over the car, and he heard Cas open and closed the back door.

Dean knew it would be a long drive, and he prayed no one asked him questions during it. Though, he assumed they could tell he didn't want to talk about it

It was after Dean changed and showered that Cas and Sam said anything. He walked into the kitchen, both were already seated at a table. He tried to ignore them, but they practically stared into his soul and he grabbed a drink from the fridge. He quickly closed it and approached the table. He sat down and opened his bottle. Then he looked up at the two and spoke, "Okay. Go ahead, ask."

Sam spoke hesitantly, "What makes you think we want to ask you something?"

Dean almost laughed, "You mean, you don't want to talk about what happened at the Vampire's nest?"

Castiel spoke this time, "Dean, why didn't you tell us. Why didn't you tell me?"

Dean sighed and took a deep breath, "I... I was scared, okay. I didn't think... I didn't think I was an angel until yesterday. I didn't want it to be true and I couldn't accept it until yesterday. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Cas, but I'm scared. I can _taste_ emotions, okay? I didn't want it to be real."

Sam looked at him with a confused look, but Cas chuckled.

"Yes, I imagine this is a sudden change for you, Dean."

Dean looked at Cas as though it was obvious, "Well, yeah Cas. Humans don't exactly feel emotions like that. We have to...," Dean paused and changed the sentence, "They... They have to figure it out by looking, and hearing."

Sam frowned and swallowed. He looked down, and Cas also took this negativity. Dean noticed this and shook his head, "I can't... I can't call myself human anymore. I'm not... I..."

Castiel responded the quickest, "You are. You are still enough human for it to fit. Do not stress yourself, Dean, I beg of you."

Dean tried not to think about it and turned his head, "Sammy, can I talk to Cas alone?"

Sam nodded quickly, "Yeah, no, of course."

When Dean and Cas were alone, Dean rubbed his head, "Cas, I don't... I don't know what to do."

Cas didn't speak for a moment, "I don't know either, Dean. You are not required to do anything. You don't have to visit heaven, you don't have to perform miracles, you're not required of anything."

Dean nodded, "Okay... What else do I need to be prepared for?"

Castiel sighed, "I don't know. I can't imagine what you'd experience next. Perhaps, perspective, or a true form."

Dean blinked, "A true form?"

Castiel nodded, "All angels have one. A form you take without a vessel. As I've said, mine is the size of a skyscraper. Angels are powerful, and I wouldn't be surprised if you were stronger than I."

Dean swallowed and closed his eyes, "I don't like this, Cas."

"I know. And, I'm sorry. If there had been a human solution, Sam would've found it. But you were... You were almost dead. Dean you would've died that night. I'd planned to stay awake to say goodbye. You would've died, and I'm glad I did not have to endure that, that Sam didn't have to endure that. But I'm sorry that you must climb a much more difficult slope."

Dean nodded, "Okay. Okay, thanks."

Dean didn't say it with any bitter tone or anger, more of a discontent tone. Dean was uncertain, scared, and definitely not angel material, but he knew it was something he'd have to endure.


	6. Six

**hey, read the authors note at the end please! Enjoy!**

"Damnit, another one, Sammy," Dean sighed as he tossed the remains of a coffee cup in the trash.

"Dean you need to get your strength in control, we're almost out."

Dean sighed, "I'm trying my best, but it's not exactly something I want to think about all the time."

Dean careful took another mug from the cabinet and gingerly layed it down. He had to be very careful with how quickly and tightly he gripped and moved things. If he were to be to violent of careless it would often be crushed in his grip. He had started getting the super strength of an angel and it annoyed him to no end, but Cas said he would soon be able to control it. However, that was a few days ago. He still managed to break mugs and nearly pushed Sam over quite a few times.

Though, he was glad it wasn't something Cas had described a few days before then. He didn't exactly want to be a skyscraper.

Dean closed his eyes for a minute and imagined everything was back to normal. Cas was fully charged, Dean was a human, alive and well, and Sam was happy.

Cas suddenly spoke, "I'm sorry, Dean."

Dean opened his eyes and looked in Cas's direction, "Bout what?"

Cas shook his head, "Everything. Being an angel... It's hard. It's difficult to get used to... I'm sorry."

Dean shook his head and looked at Sam, who glanced back at the two. Dean then looked down at his cup of coffee. He could see his own reflection and he inhaled deeply. 

"It's okay, Cas. I'm alive. I'm decent. I'll get used to it. Then it'll be me, you, and Sam back on the road together. It'll be alright."

Dean spoke very quietly and looked down. He hadn't broke his mug. He smiled very slightly and took a sip of the black coffee. It still hadn't lost its tase, and still kept him energized. So he took that as a good sign.

The rest of the day was very quiet and relaxed. Dean didn't speak much, Sam kept to himself, and Cas never spoke much unless he had to.

Often times Sam saw Cas and Dean send each other looks, and he assumed it was an angel thing. Though it was really starting to get to Sam. Dean was an angel. Did that mean he'd undeniably outlive Sam?

Sam tried not to really think about it. He was never afraid of Death, he was afraid of losing his brother. Dean meant everything to him, and he was afraid that Dean would go crazy if he died. Sam decided it was far too early to be thinking about death, and read through one of the many books he had found in the library.

However, Dean sat in his room. He'd taken off his shirt and inspected his wings, honestly praying that just maybe they'd be gone. Dean was trying his best to integrate angel things into his life, but it was incredibly difficult. Often times he'd think maybe he was dreaming. In fact, every morning he _had_ to check. He always looked to see if the wings were still there, and every morning they were. And every morning he got a little closer to accepting it. 

Every morning he got much closer to accepting the reality. However every morning he always felt a strong resentment. Dean didn't hate being alive, he didn't hate Cas for doing it. He hated that he wasn't human. He hated that he was just one of the things they hunted. He hated that he was now borderline a disgrace to his father. The man wasn't even alive, but Dean knew the last thing he wanted to see was Dean being changed. Or corrupted. And that's all Dean could see it as. He was corrupt. He was changed and while, for now he felt emotions, and knew what was right, he worried later he would forget. He was scared he would lose humanity. Humanity was the one thing that made his life worth it. He would lose everything that made him human. That scared him. Because, he knew Cas before Cas continued to lose grace. He knew Cas was a stuck up asshole. Cas was an emotionless robot, and Dean didn't want that. He was scared of that.

Dean finally came back to reality and rubbed the tears from his cheeks. Often times he felt crying was weak, but what was there left to do? He couldn't just man up and get over it this time. 

He was an angel and it was inevitable.

He became lost in his thoughts and he didn't hear the door open. He only noticed when Cas appeared in his view. Dean quickly hid his wings and looked to Cas, "Sorry, I Uh. I didn't hear you come it."

Dean spoke quickly and grabbed his shirt. He pulled it over his head and it was Cas's turn to speak.

"They're only black because of my grace."

Dean didn't expect this and looked at Cas confused, "What?"

"Your wings. They're brown and black because of my grace. They would've been completely brown if you had been created an angel instead of made into one."

Dean sat down on his bed, "Are your wings black?"

Cas looked away and nodded, "I don't really have many feathers anymore. If I did, yes, they would be black. However, they do grow back. With time."

"What happened to the feathers?"

"The Fall... All angels fell from heaven. If we didn't use our wings to protect out vessels, we would've died. Many of us have tried to heal, but it takes much longer when less angels occupy the heavens and earth. As you know, there are around eight angels left. In total. The less their are, the harder it is to... Sustain."

Dean hesitated, "I'm sorry, eight?"

Castiel nodded, "There are eight. Nine if you include yourself, and Ten if you include Jack."

Dean smiled, "Dean and Jack, huh. Not very angelic names."

"Well, you aren't very typical angels. Jack is technically not a full angel and you aren't either. However, you and Jack are likely the most powerful angels in existence right now."

Dean glanced to Cas in surprise, "What?"

"Dean, what you did back there... At the Vampire's nest... That wasn't just a typical angel thing. Even at full power, an angel as... Young as you shouldn't be able to do that. You saw how long it took Jack to even get a hold of his powers. His only worked when he was in panic. But, I know you Dean. You don't panic. You think, you use your brain and strategize. You don't panic unless it's after you're well beat. You did that because you simply thought of it. You could very well match Jack in power with time."

Dean was baffled, "Wait, I thought. Jack is a nephilim. He could get more powerful than Lucifer because Lucifer is his dad, but I'm a nobody. I'm not the son of some angel."

Castiel nodded, "I know, Dean. However, you show remarkable promise. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were an Archangel."

Dean swallowed quickly, "I thought those guys were made by God."

Cas nodded, "They were. They were perhaps the only angels he actually cared about making. Then he made the rest of us as soldiers. He handmade them, and he gave them copious amounts of power. However, I see the same in you, Dean. I'm a seraph. I am a mid power angel. I am not weak, but I am not as strong as others. Lower angels were made to be expendable, and quick to kill. However, Dean, you show power already stronger than I, if I had all my grace as a seraph."

Dean didn't speak for a minute, and slowly spoke when he did, "Why? This doesn't make sense."

Castiel bit his lip, "I don't know. In all honesty, this has never happened in history. Turning humans into angels is seen as... Unorthodox. Very few angels actually know it's something we can do. The Archangels knew, and those very close to God, but those at my level or lower had no clue. I learned from Metatron. As far as I'm aware... You are the only human turned into an angel in existence. So, who's to say perhaps this isn't normal? Perhaps your power is normal, but there's not enough information to tell..."

"Freaking great, huh? I mean, why would Chuck give a crap about me now? He's off with the darkness, this can't be his work, right?"

Castiel hesitated, "I try to have faith, but logically, no. This could not be his doing. This likely has to do with a different specification of angel creation. There's no way to tell."

Dean nodded, and tried to quickly change the subject, as he no longer wanted to talk about god, "About your wings…"

Castiel did not speak, but looked at Dean expectantly. Dean took this as an answer and continued, "Is there anything I can do to help you… get better?"

Castiel smiled, "No, Dean. Nothing that you will understand."

"Why not?"

"You may not be far enough along in the angelic process to understand the concept."

Dean scratched his hand and looked down, "Okay."

Castiel was never good at conversation. It had been an issue with him through the years, so he sat next to Dean and placed his hand on the other's, unsure if he was overstepping. Although he knew Dean's soul well, Dean wasn't exactly a mirror of his own soul.

"It will be alright, Dean."

Dean didn't immediately pull his hand away, and for this, Cas appreciated. Dean glanced over to the man and nodded, "I know… Cas, this… this ain't fun for me."

Castiel nodded and gently moved his hand away, "I know. Your soul was very… anxious. This is not something that surprised me."

Dean quickly replied, out of curiosity, "You talked to my soul… you keep saying that, but I can't remember that."

Castiel nodded, "You wouldn't. In time you will, but not yet."

Dean looked at Cas, expecting the man to continue, but Cas made no move to explain further.

"I feel like I'm missing something. Is there something I should know?"

Castiel shook his head, "No. Nothing you already don't. Your soul and I spoke, and we both agreed this was the better choice. We both spoke what was on our minds, and then decided to continue with the ritual. Everything said, you already knew and decided."

Dean wasn't quite buying it, but had no reason to further press. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, "Okay, Cas… Look, I need to get some sleep in."

Cas nodded and quickly went to leave. He stopped in the doorway, and spoke quietly, "I am here, Dean if you need anything."

"I know, Cas. Thank you."

Though, Dean tried, sleep hadn't come easy. In fact, he was awake for hours before exhaustion kicked him down. 

The question on his mind?

What next?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I noticed how much attention this book is getting, and first off, thank you guys.  
> Second off, I used to upload daily, but it's really slowed down. School has started and my updates might get slower or even faster depending on how everything goes. I'll try to keep you updated.


	7. Seven

For how quickly he'd developed angel powers, the last few weeks had been slow. It almost seemed like they'd just stopped appearing. He hoped they would. Though, for the last few weeks, he'd seen nothing. No added limbs, no extra eyes, no crazy powers (excluding the ones he already had), there was nothing. 

This worried Cas, but Dean was just happy they were slowing down. He needed a break. Constantly worrying about new powers stressed him out.

Dean decided he would take a break and leave the bunker. He'd grabbed his keys from his nightstand and walked down the hall. Sam caught a glimpse of him as he walked past the kitchen and stopped him.

"Dean, where you going?"

Dean backtracked and stuck his head into the open archway, "Out, why?"

Sam looked like he was going to say something, but hesitated, "Can you grab some more coffee? We're almost out."

Orange gently breezed through the kitchen, like you would see a smell in a cartoon, worried. The smell was a heavy cinnamon, that almost made Dean want to sneeze as he looked at Sam. Dean nodded and made his way back down the hall. As he walked up the stairs, he sighed. He knew they weren't out of coffee. In fact, he knew there were boxes of coffee grain lying in a storage room. He knew that Sam knew that too. Sam was worried about him. Seemed like nowadays everyone was worried about him.

He wanted to be mad about it, hell, he just wanted to be mad all the time. Sometimes it felt like that was all that he could do. But, he knew it was pointless to be mad about everything, especially just his brother caring about him.

Dean sighed as baby's engine started. Nothing could soothe him more than a nice drive. It was his alone time, and he wished he had more of it.

Dean found himself right back at the lake he went to the day he awoke from his coma. It was different during the day. It was much louder. Birds flew back and forth through trees and Dean sighed. He leaned against the Impala and watched them.

He wasn't always one for nature crap, but in that moment, looking at the birds, he was content. Though, this was broken by a scary though. Could Dean fly?

This was something he knew Cas could do, but he was never a fan of. Dean didn't like the idea of flying. He used to only be worried about planes, but now he realized he probably could fly.

This though unsettled him. How would he even learn? Did he have to?

He saw a bird gently land about three or four feet in front of him and he chuckled. The very far fetched idea of speaking flew through his head, and he decided he would. Nobody was there to judge him.

He spoke very sarcastically, not expecting a reply, "Can you teach me how to fly?"

The bird tilted it's head and flew off back into the trees. 

Dean's let out a dry chuckle, "Figures."

Dean looked around for a few moments before he tugged his keys from his pocket. Before he had the chance to open the driver seat door, a bird landed right on the roof. Dean froze and looked at it. It was barely inches away from his face.

It made a small coo and spread its wings. It gently flapped them, and Dean heard a small voice. It was like a whisper.

_"Where are your wings?"_

Dean was in a state of shock and he barely registered that it was in fact the bird who said this. Suddenly voices were clear of the birds around the lake. He heard a small voice talking about the worm it'd just caught. Another talked of their significant other, who was fixing the nest.

Dean inhaled slowly, "Did you say that?"

The bird tilted its head, _"You ask to fly, but have no wings."_

Dean hesitated. He looked around to make sure no other people were around. He then allowed his wings to spread. They stretched to the length of the Impala and he sighed in relief. He'd been so cramped. It was bothering him to constantly have them folded back and hidden.

_"You are a big bird, but flying is the same for all young ones. Get high, into a tree, and leap. Your wings will do the rest."_

"And if they don't?" Dean asked with an uncertain voice.

_"You die, young one. Good luck."_

The bird flew away and Dean swallowed. He wondered if trying was a good idea. Considering the bird had given his very vague instructions, he felt he shouldn't try. Though, he found himself walking around looking for a highpoint.

He decided to avoid trees. He felt like jumping out of a tree would be a bad idea. Eventually he found a drop off where the land dropped into the lake. He felt like this was the best choice due to try fact that if he fell, he'd fall into water.

Though, as he stood near the ledge, nervousness spread through him and he wondered if he should go through with the jump. He then inhaled and slowly backed up. If he was going to do anything, he'd do it Winchester style.

He quickly charged off of the ledge and braced to hit the cold water, but instead his wings beat furiously and he lifted higher. He opened his eyes and looked around. He was barely a few feet off the lake. He was gently flying in circles, trying to keep himself stable. Dean gained control of his wings and lifted himself higher off the ground. While, it was terrifying, he continued until he took a dive close to the water. He dragged his hand across it and grinned. In fact, it was the first time in a while that he'd smiled.

Dean quickly started to understand and even managed to land a few spins. Finally, after almost half an hour, his wings grew tired. He gently lowered himself back onto the ledge and immediately folded them back. They ached, but Dean was so happy that it was scary. Flying had been such a phobia for him since he was young. But he was in control now. He didn't have to worry about someone doing something wrong, he was in control.

He walked back towards his car and let out a sigh as he rested his back against the seat.

He heard a small flap and noticed the little bird. He rolled down his window and it flapped up to sit on it.

It said nothing, and Dean wondered if it would. Though, it tilted it's head, and quickly flew away. Dean took this as a sign of respect and finally made his way back to the bunker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got a chapter out! Cranking out the next one asap


End file.
